TransformativeThoughts's Blog

We’d all like to believe we can do it on our own, be in charge, get it right, or not have to ask for help but that is rarely the case. Connecting and working with others means the end result will be far more exceptional than what we could have delivered solo. In addition, we grow as people by being on a team, both them and us. We learn from them and they from us.

If you are responsible for building or leading a team, how do you choose who serves on that team?  In thinking about who’s right for the team, what do you look for?

Here are the things I believe define a good fit:

• Values – should be shared by the individual, the organization and the team members. Values are the foundation from which the policies, procedures, conduct and culture originate. Team values such as integrity, respect and accountability build a sense of unity and serve to build the all-important trust. Values must align with purpose, mission and actions from the top down. You can’t work well with a company or colleagues who don’t share your values. If you’re unclear on your values, get a coach.

• Attitude – attitudes are highly contagious in a team environment, that’s why there is no room for a bad attitude. Staying positive and holding each other accountable for this positivity is critical – no gossiping and no negativity.

• Skills – are often the focus when a person is being interviewed for a new position, but I maintain that values and attitude are as or more important than skills. Skills can be learned, values are ingrained in us from an early age and are actually apart of our very being. Attitude is a mental mind-set, a way of looking at the world and our place in that world. If one is always justifying, making excuses, complaining, staying behind the desk or can’t embrace change when change is needed, is that someone you want to spend time with? When the going gets tough, and it will, will they have your back?

• Leadership – the team has a leader who must model the values, attitude and performance necessary for the desired outcomes.  Most likely every team member also leads another team of direct reports. Each and every leader must lead not just manage, walk the talk, set the proper example, make sure his or her people have what they need to do the job, know what the expectations are, the priorities are and then offer them respectful and timely feedback on a regular basis.

• Inside and outside the box – choose team members who can function well in both. Leaders and team members must be willing to get outside the box to see the big picture, make changes, take risks and stay current with today’s challenges. Yet there are times when you want to stay inside your box, be focused and clear in order to get the job done. A good balance is needed and usually people are far more comfortable with one than the other.

• Cross training – is the person able to take over for other team members when necessary? Are they willing to learn all aspects of a project not only to understand it better but to be able to rotate, or move up when necessary? I’m not saying an engineer needs to take over for a doctor, but within the same range of specialty can they rotate and support?  Perhaps the hardest jump within an organization is to move from individual contributor to manager. Cross training, rotating, learning management skills, taking on leadership roles, even making lateral moves within the company is great experience and makes one a more valuable team player. When you choose someone for your team, what cross training do they bring with the table?

• Success mind-set – does this person strategize and plan for success yet still address the ‘what-ifs’ before they occur? What evidence will support this? The Blue Angels have a saying, “Procedures are written in blood” and rightly so with the risks they take, nose-to-nose at 1000 mph and only inches apart. They understand that failure is not an option. As the old saying goes, are you failing to plan or planning to fail? I hope neither, I hope you are planning to succeed!

• Maintenance –  balance and maintenance are critically important. Having a fully engaged physical body, a mentally alert mind and a healthy emotional intelligence means one must take breaks, sleep well, eat good food for energy and exercise. In addition one benefits from continued learning. Taking time to read, study and research your areas of interest will not only stimulate your mind, but make you a  more interesting person. A good life also means having love and meaning, whether that’s through family, faith, animals, or community and friends. Meaning goes above and beyond work regardless of how much you might love that work. Meaning ties back into values. Whether you like it or not you do bring the whole person to the workplace so keeping the whole, whole is important. And having a team you enjoy greeting each day is a definite plus.

If you’re on a team, what are your responsibilities to that team and to your organization? How do you know you can trust the other team members? How do they know they can trust you? How do you support your team? What do you need from them? Does the team come first in your mind? What is your mind set, your attitude? Do you have meaning in your life? If you were choosing a new team, what would you look for? Giving some thought to these questions now will help you get in touch with what you see as important and may even help you see your team members through new eyes.

Posted in Business, Career, Life, Mindfuless, Results
Tags: attitude, leadership, management, performance, powerful teams, self-improvement; relationships; team building, success, team, work life balance

Do you have a belief that says you’re not good at numbers or you’re not management material? Perhaps you think you’re only good at sales or you’re not any good at sales. Perhaps you think you’re boss has it in for you and you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. Do you believe someone is holding you back and if they’d just catch up life would be better? I’m not asking you to change who you are, I’m asking are you sure any of these beliefs are even true? Are you making an assessment or an assumption? Do you know these are true? Have you proven them for yourself, or did you struggle in an area/situation and decide something wasn’t right and give up or move on to other endeavors? Do you see your choices as being limited?

As a coach, I work with my clients to first learn WHO they are…their values, beliefs, needs, strengths, talents, desires rather than beginning the focus on WHAT they want and HOW they will get results. Why?  It’s really simple, the ‘what’ and the ‘how’ are often what their partner wants for them or their boss has demanded or what society has told them they must do or want. That’s why so many New Year’s resolutions don’t work; people choose things without tying them to their values, things they don’t have a passion for or a desire for. In addition, once a person is clear about their Who, the What and the How show up on their own.  Going directly for the result, the goal, the solution leaves very important information out of the mix. For example: What fuels the driver? What motivates a person to want to do something? If I have a desire to be an independent and successful business woman then I must ask myself what do I feel so strongly about at my very core that following that path will make my success easy and meaningful? My success will be based on that meaning; it’s not about the money or the recognition, those are results.

In studying the leaders who’ve had the greatest influence in the world, Simon Sinek, author of Start With Why discovered these leaders all think, act and communicate in the exact same way and it’s the complete opposite of what everyone else does. They all start with ‘why’. An organization can explain what it does and how it does it, but can they articulate why they do it? Why is not money or profit, again those are results. Have you heard the phrase; “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”? Sinek maintains people don’t care how and what you do until they know why you do it. Tap into the heart, the emotion and the core of the subject – what moves you to do something or not do something? Why is it important to you in the biggest sense of the word?

So I could say I became a coach because I want to make a difference in the world and that is true, but the real driver is that I believe everyone has a right to soar, to identify and develop their talents, strengths and skills to be the best of the best. People have a right to know who he or she is (not just the roles they play) and how they can best contribute to the whole of this world. I love being the catalyst for the realization of that spark, that purpose, that meaning.

I believe every executive is the guiding light for his or her company. How bright or how dim that light shines, whether its warm or glaring makes a difference in the life and the profitability of the company. These are skills that can be learned and I love seeing this take place.

I believe every business deserves to be successful and that the business needs to serve its owner, not the owner being a slave to the business. But often the business owner doesn’t know what he doesn’t know and having a guide can bring the who of the business and the owner to life.

What’s your ‘why’?  The why is always tied to the who. The Who is the driver, the doer, the Why is the belief, the passion and the How is the action taken to realize the belief with the What being the result of those actions.

Three great examples of building a company and/or a product to serve the middle class are Volkswagen, Wal-Mart and Southwest Airlines. All three of these companies chose to fully champion and serve the middle class – their Why. Apple on the other hand based its success on “think differently”. Creating a product that was outside the box and perfect; as perfect on the inside as on the outside and for this you are expected to pay a premium. All these are great products and services but with different Why’s and appeal to very different people.

Studies show that 80% of us who have jobs, don’t really consider it to be our dream job. I would venture to say most people don’t know what their dream job is. And further I’d venture to say most people don’t really know who they are; they don’t know what they don’t know. Before you begin a venture or project, go after a new career or a new relationship, take some time to really investigate your ‘why’. What is so important to you, at your core that if you built your life around it, would bring meaning and joy to you and those around you?

Adapted from the book, Start With Why – How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action, by Simon Sinek published 2009 by Penguin Group

Posted in Business, Career, Life
Tags: awareness, beliefs, breakthroughs, business woman, challenges, endeavors, leadership, Life, management material, moving forward, possibility, Self-development; reflection, sinek

I was reading the weekly Genius Tip from Genius Coach Otto Siegel (www.geniuscoaching.com) this morning and it started the brain cells working overtime. I began asking myself where I am currently following the thinking of the masses. Continue reading to see if this question applies to you as well. Are you buying into the thinking that mediocrity is the best you can expect to be in these chaotic times?

Remember Marianne Williamson’s famous poem “Return to Love”? She writes:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light that frightens us, not our darkness.”

Then I heard it again from Paul Coelho: “Only mediocrity is safe. Get ready to be attacked, and be the best.”

And finally my assistant Mariana showed me Sarah Robinson’s blog where she talks about a very common observation when collecting crabs at the beach: “More often than not, as a crab would begin to inch its way higher to the edge of the bucket, the other crabs would latch on to him and pull him back down.”

Crab mentality is actually an official phrase and roughly means “if I can’t have it, neither can you.” And it is talked about. A lot! Most likely it is one of the biggest obstacles to unfold innate genius all the way to a level of brilliance.

How about finding a community of passionate people who build a ‘crab ladder’ to aid your escape from the bucket of mediocrity? People who will not buy into the thinking of the masses and won’t let you buy into it either. But rather aid you in looking above the minutia of the world to a higher level of thinking and being. As you read this genius tip, you might have just found this kind of people. How does that sound to you? Stay connected…

Action:
How many people do you have in your life right now who know your deepest desires  and support your brillance to manifest them?

Posted in Career, Life, Mindfuless, Results
Tags: awareness, breakthroughs, brilliance, choice, crab mentality, genius, Life, life circumstances, mindfulness, moving forward, personal success, Self-development; reflection

Brain overload?

Is your memory not doing so well?

Perhaps you can’t recall important information after one of those endless meetings you attend?

Are you constantly losing your keys or your glasses?

If any of this sound familiar to you, then perhaps I can offer some simple ways to work with these brain challenges.

I read a recent article in Redbook Magazine by Kelly Mickle entitled “kooky memory tricks that work.” According to Mickle, not only will these little tips make it easier to remember where you put things, but will help defend against senior moments later. Some of us might have needed them sooner rather than later, but my motto is its never too late.

Doodling – ever doodle during a meeting or while you’re on the phone? According to an Applied Cognitive Psychology report sketching while listening means you’re 29% more likely to remember what you heard. Why? Apparently doodling keeps you focused on the action and less likely to daydream. You can still listen while you doodle, but daydreaming reduces your attention towards the speaker.

Web surfing – bosses take note: surfing may not increase productivity, but it can boost brainpower and that’s important. One study had people search the web for information on a variety of topics, and afterward brain scans showed they had more brain activity in the memory and decision-making areas of the brain. And in today’s world, decisions seem to come a mile a minute. So take a moment to Google something of interest when you start to feel drained or overwhelmed.

Laughter – Stress disrupts brain-cell communication in the hippocampus (the area of your brain that controls memory) according to the University of California’s research, laughter can counteract this affect. Sometimes I get little video clips via email and Facebook, and watching the humorous ones does offer a nice break. You might also try America’s Funniest Home Videos highlights at abc.go.com

Power walking – taking a brisk stroll for 20 minutes before that big meeting will actually boost your brainpower for an hour. According to Charles Hillman, Ph.D. at the University of Illinois people performed better on difficult memory test 30 minutes after cardio. Why? Aerobic exercise may increase blood flow to the brain and improve you ability to learn new things. I do yoga and I know that the head down position downward-dog seems to make my brain seem more alert.

Yes, engagement at work is incredibly important and yet without disengaging you may not be your best self, and therefore not do your best work. So is laughter and exercise the best medicine? It’s worth a try.

Posted in Career, Life, Mindfuless, Results
Tags: awareness, brain, breakthroughs, expansion, leadership, Life, life circumstances, life design, mindfulness, possibility, productivity, Self-development; reflection

Are we the blaming kind? Do we find some kind of satisfaction in putting the responsibility and therefore the blame “out there”? Do we tend to say, its Obama’s fault we’re in this mess? Or I just can’t get the work done in this heat, or as Flip Wilson used to say, “The devil made me do it.” Or as I remember back in the days when the fridge had ice trays, the son of a friend when challenged on why he didn’t refill the tray blamed it on Clancy the dog who used up the ice.

We humans tend to place the blame any time we either don’t know how to take responsibility or we just don’t want to take responsibility.

As Dr. Albert Ellis so wisely said: “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you are in control of your own destiny.” A Course in Miracles says there are no victims, only volunteers. So if I am not a victim then I must be responsible for the choices I make. Yes, I am responsible for the vote I cast, where I invested my 401-K, how much I spent on the patio furniture, where I go for dinner and what I say.

And I realize that if I don’t like something, I can try to change it and if I can’t change it, I can at least change my attitude about it. So when I worry about the 401-K, I tell myself God knows exactly how much money is in that account and He also knows I like to eat. I’ll have to admit there is a certain amount of satisfaction in knowing that I have plenty of company in the ‘lack-of-retirement funds’ category. Yes misery does love company. What I want to do is to remove the misery part and just say I love company and solitude and many other things…but NOT misery. Misery is a choice; a choice that is not the best choice. I can choose to live my life with the glass-half-full attitude, being grateful for what I have and who I am. I am safe, I am healthy, I am happy and I live a life of ease.

There are many people on this planet unable to make those statements: soldiers in Afghanistan, the starving children in Somalia, the homeless on the streets of any city. Who is responsible for them? Marianne Williamson made an interesting statement on Facebook recently. She said. “It is their karma that people are starving in this world and it’s our karma to feed them.” So here is the dichotomy when it comes to responsibility – you have to do it by yourself and you can’t do it alone.

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Posted in Business, Career, Life, Mindfuless, Results, Uncategorized
Tags: accountability, attitude, change, personal success, responsibility, results

As an executive coach, I work with personal values and organizational values on a weekly basis and I see the importance of not only knowing what these values are but whether or not they are shared. Recently as we watch the chaos in governments around the world, we might wonder: what is it that our leaders value?  Why can’t they play in the sandbox of life in a meaningful and supportive way? Why must they ‘take sides’. I’m all for speaking up and believe that conflict can be productive, but not for the sake of conflict. What is the benefit of bashing others even verbally? If you plan is worthy, then won’t others see the benefit without the verbal bashing? Or perhaps everyone is just playing chicken, waiting for the other to blink?

Ronald Heifetz says in “Leadership Without Easy Answers”  that the root cause of most conflicts are due to conflicts in values. If a group doesn’t honestly surface those values and deal with them, the group blames the leader for not solving the problems, rejects the leader, hires another leader, and the cycle repeats.

Heifetz believes that the role of a leader is to help the organization surface the conflicts and frame and facilitate conversations so people can listen to and appreciate others’ perspectives. Heifitz’ book focuses on tackling big, complex problems in big organizations. But the lessons apply to small groups as well.

Similarly coach Jeffrey Van Dyk recently said, “There are no problems to be solved, just truths to be revealed.” Conflict resolution requires us to dig deep and honestly to uncover the truths. Then we can see the way forward.

How is this showing up in your life, in your organization. If you ‘value your values’  — and they don’t jive with the group’s values — the conflict will continue.

The leader’s job then is to spot these disconnects and talk privately with those executives or team members. Often asking them to leave is the best course.  Or perhaps you are the executive who needs to walk away, says Lois Kelly of www.foghound.com.

Or if this is a personal relationship, walking away will allow someone with your same values to enter the picture and life is likely to be much more satisfying.

Posted in Business, Career, Life, Results
Tags: conflict, executives, leadership, organizational, teams, values