Are You Driven?

Have you ever wondered what drives people? What makes a person do what they do?

My suspicion is that all humans have a deep desire and need to be loved and accepted.

This need will drive us to do whatever we have to do, in order to feel that love and acceptance. The form this takes is sometimes inappropriate. For example if I’m not feeling the love, I may act out by thinking what I need is excitement and I might go shopping – the spending of money will give me the temporary adrenaline flow, but what happens when the credit card bill comes in? Or I mess up on an exam or a presentation and don’t feel accepted, I might eat to cover the anxiety I’m feeling or the hole inside that says “You screwed up!” What happens when my clothes no longer fit or I’m hanging over my waistband? 


There have always been extra-marital affairs for as long as the world has been I suspect. I believe they are driven by this same need, in some form the sexual attraction and excitement is really about this need to be loved and accepted, to be special. We may no longer feel ‘specialness’ coming from our partner, so we are more driven by our need than by our common sense or our sense of commitment.


Are there things you do or others do that when put in this context of ‘the need to be loved and accepted’ you can understand more fully? Perhaps family members or even co-workers, who seem to act out, be overbearing, angry or controlling? Is what they need really love, recognition, a smile or a hug? Just something for you to think about…….


~ by transformativethoughts on June 23, 2009.

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