Why Does Death Take Our Breath Away?

I know that life goes on. I know that the Spirit is eternal. I know that the memories, experiences, relationships I have with people who are no longer here will continue. Then why does it hurt? Why is it such a shock when someone moves on? It’s certainly not like I haven’t been through this again and again with family and friends, yet it is always so unexpected and it leaves me with such a sense of loss.


Last month I called to get an appointment to have my car serviced and they gave me to a new service advisor, when I inquired why, I was told that JP the guy who had been taking care of me for 12 years had passed away a few days prior. Two days later I was delivering a eulogy at his memorial service, exactly 3 weeks to the day after he found out he had cancer. He was such a friend. He was so smart, so articulate, so supportive. East Indian by birth, he came to this country about 25 years ago and could talk to you about anything, from cars to philosophy to cooking. I think he had been with Mercedes almost from the beginning and he literally took care of me. Once when they kept my car too long, even though they gave me a loaner, he had them write me a check for my trouble. He never tried to take advantage, always did what needed to be done to my car, not what could be done according to the service manual.


Today I found out my longtime computer guy, Don, passed away. When Don saw my name come up on the caller ID, he’d always pick up the phone and say, “Judy, Judy, Judy!”, and then after I explained my problem, he’d scratch his chin and say “Only you, Judy; that’s a new one on me.” But he’d fix it just the same. The first time he ever came to my rescue was on a Labor Day weekend, in 1996 when I was beside myself: You how we all get when our computer is down. When I called in my distress, he said, “Come on over”, the man was always working!  I did and he solved my problem and I’d been a fan ever since. I hadn’t used him much lately, but about 3 weeks ago, I called and he began a search to solve my problem, just like always.  Again, just like with JP, he took care of me.


It doesn’t matter if we are man or woman – we all like to be taken care of. We all need to feel like we’re important, we matter. These two men made me feel like I was a friend who mattered. No matter how independent, self-sufficient, or stubborn we are; we like to be taken care of. There are still those people in this world who do that for us. There are also those people whom you know just by that first encounter, are trustworthy. These two men were my friends, they were trustworthy and they will be missed. Reach out to those who matter to you, soon.


~ by transformativethoughts on July 3, 2009.

One Response to “Why Does Death Take Our Breath Away?”

  1. Thank you.

    I don’t like death. Loss, of any kind, leaves me upset, feeling powerless, angry, hopeless and depressed, to name a few. I believe the loss is permanent, real, “gone for good.”

    I have dealt with loss in the past by forgetting rather than transforming. Some thing would trigger the grief and I would be back to where I was. I see the benefit of transformational thought even if I cannot accomplish it.

    Brick by brick I’ve built my beliefs and brick by brick those walls can come down. Thank you for your example.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: