What Drives Us?

Have you ever wondered what drives people? What makes a person do what they do?

My suspicion is that all humans have a deep desire and need to be loved and accepted.

This need will drive us to do whatever we have to do, in order to feel that love and acceptance. The form this takes is sometimes inappropriate. For example if I’m not feeling the love, I may act out by thinking what I need is excitement and I might go shopping – the spending of money will give me the temporary adrenaline flow; but then what happens when the credit card bill comes in? Or I mess up on an exam or a presentation and don’t feel accepted, I might eat to cover the anxiety I’m feeling or the hole inside that says “You screwed up!” What happens when my clothes no longer fit or I’m hanging over my waistband?

I suspect there have always been extra-marital affairs for as long as the world has been. I believe these affairs are driven by some form of this same need, the sexual attraction and excitement is really about the need to be loved and accepted: to be special. We may no longer feel ‘specialness’ coming from our spouse, so we are more driven by our need than by our common sense or our sense of commitment.

Are there things you do or others do that when put in this context of ‘the need to be loved and accepted’ you can understand more fully? Perhaps family members or even co-workers, who seem to act out, be overbearing or controlling? Is what they need really love, recognition, a smile or a hug? Just something for you to think about…….

Advertisements

~ by transformativethoughts on July 17, 2010.

One Response to “What Drives Us?”

  1. My belief is that all behavior can be traced back to getting our basic needs met. Those needs being sustainance,shelter,and LOVE! Most if not all of the problems people experience are related to their misguided attempts to experience God and/or love. If we understand behavior from that perspective it’s a lot easier to be compassionate towards people who are acting out of their lack.

    “Are there things you do or others do that when put in this context of ‘the need to be loved and accepted’ you can understand more fully?”

    Just as you have stated…

    “Is what they need really love, recognition, a smile or a hug?”

    Sometimes they need a kick in the pants…knowing who needs which is,in my opinion,the essence of love!

    enjoyed your work, Jeff

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: