The Real Connector

Humans have the incredible ability to hear what they have subconsciously decided to hear. Just like you are able to filter out background noise – think air conditioner fan or the television noises while you’re on the computer – the fact is we filter. Think about how you tuned your Mom out when she repeatedly told you to do whatever. We also filter based on our beliefs, past experiences, preferences, and positions.

Rather than deeply listening to another person we are processing and filtering. Think of the evidence room at the FBI, as we hear the other person speaking, we are busy searching our own mental database (our evidence room) to agree, disagree, reposition, judging or simply waiting to talk. Any of which means we are no longer listening and we most certainly are not connecting. Yes, I know you truly believe you are a master at multitasking, but studies show no one is a master at multitasking.

It’s estimated that 50% of what is said in the workplace is not what is heard. You may think the other person is at fault, but we all must assume responsibility for our communication. You are responsible for how your communication is received and for how you receive from others. We are taught to speak as children but most of us have not been blessed with training in the art of listening. I suggest you make a true effort to put all your mind-voices to rest and really tune into the person speaking to you. Listen from an understanding-position not a position designed to agree, disagree or interrogate. Listening deeply makes the other person feel valued. It also stimulates curiosity on your part, from which will come questions to engage them in conversation thereby assisting you to understand their perspective or see the situation through their eyes. This leads to connection.

Conversations are two-way endeavors. Conversations are relationship builders. Conversations are trust builders and sales tools but only if you listen totally and deeply. People grow from connection; businesses grow from connection, one conversation at a time. That’s why God gave us two hears and one mouth; stop talking and listen. Listening is the real connector.


~ by transformativethoughts on August 31, 2012.

One Response to “The Real Connector”

  1. This is a great way of thinking as far as communicating is concerned. Keep it up!

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